Editor’s Note
It’s time again to put on the cranky pants and lay down a groove.
The IRS got into trouble this quarter for belief-based harassment.
The targeted groups now get to wallow in the limelight. They
are as thick as cicadas, suing, giving TV interviews, and behaving
put upon. We want to know, where’s our wallow? Somehow,
this newsletter got passed over. Not enough shrill? Doubt it.
We asked Lois Lerner but she left us a voicemail saying she was
busy and would get back to us on the fifth. It’s enough to put the
“ire” back in IRS. (Product Placement Alert: Lululemon offers a
complete line of cranky pants – ours comes with an expandable
waistline.)
Did we mention we listen? It turns out our readers can’t get
enough Bureau jokes. This one is no joke: CFPB employees want
to unionize because they are, um, unhappy. Couldn’t they just join
our conga line? (Some thought being miserable was a CFPB job
description.) What really got them off-leash was management’s
decision to build out the CFPB headquarters as open space—think
“cube farm”—without individual offices. This will be good to know
when you get examined. It will be public and open: Latex gloves,
no hospital gown.
If you “like” our terroir, you can fill out our customer satisfaction
survey. Just go to www.Mofo.crankypants.com, register with a
simple alphanumeric password that must include at least two
punctuation marks (one of which must have a squiggle) and the
initials of your mother’s maiden name, print out the form on 20-lb
canary paper (double-sided), fill in the answer bubbles completely
(#2 pencil), affix a commemorative Latin music legends “forever”
stamp, and leave in your glove compartment.
Until next time, remember: Google Glass only look like arc-
welding goggles, ask your coffee designer for references, and avoid
North Korean fireworks.
William Stern, Editor-in-chief
Attorney Advertising
IN THIS ISSUE
Arbitration Report
Page 2
Bureau Report
Page 2
Privacy Report
Page 4
Mortgage Report
Page 5
Operations Report
Page 6
Preemption Report
Page 7
Beltway Report
Page 8
MOFO METRICS
32 New York state lawmakers
indicted since 2006
43 Percentage of college-level
grades that are A’s
3 Percentage of spam emails
that get past anti-spam
filters
50 Spam emails sent each day,
in billions
100 Number of nerve cells in a
human brain, in billions
100 Number of bacteria in a
human’s large intestine, in
trillions
3 Average weight of a human
brain, in pounds
3 Total weight of human
bacteria, in pounds
Quarterly News, Summer 2013
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